Maybe I'm trippin but sometimes I don't feel like Mona wants me as bad I I want her. I try to be Mr. Optimistic by saying its bad timing, but it feels like EVERY TIME is bad timing for her. Still yet to do any type of FaceTime when I was told it'll be all the time/ whenever I want. Sex is basically nonexistent. I'm doing my fucking best to remain as cool as possible and TRYING (trust me, I am trying my ass off) to stay patient and not over react. I love her deeply and I know she loves me but sometimes I honestly feel like she isn't attracted to me or really her type. I'm seriously pretty far from the opposite. I'm most like thinking in to this too much but whatever. That's how I feel because that's how she makes me feel at times. I can't help that. Irritated. Frustrated. Suffocated by my own thoughts and insecurities on wether I'm ever desired by the woman I'm heavily in love with. Fuck what I feel though...good night...
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