I woke up today to say good morning to Mona and send out tons of emails. I'm still in the mixed of those but I took a break because something came to mind. I'm super jealous and I hate it. Sometimes I wish I didn't give a fuck like other guys and talk to tons of girls on the side and bullshit but that simply isn't in me. And it doesn't help when I feel like a secret or unappreciated as a boyfriend. I try my hardest but I almost don't know what to do anymore. Now I'm officially at the "fuck it" stage putting whatever I feel aside in order to adjust to somewhat of her liking, but yesterday that ended up coming across as "on her ass". So that's why like I said, today it's all her on wether she wants to speak to me. I always text first, call first, everything first. Am I needy, yes. But so what? Last I checked, a girl would love a boyfriend giving them undivided attention. I would LOVE the same but that's simply not the case. That's kind of why I've been in a blah mood, especially this morning. Maybe i make her too much of a priority, but how do you cut down on what you feel is most important to you? Anyways, back to work.
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