Who wants what

Mood went from whatever to ok to fucking irritated. I hate it when she does that shit. Never wants to talk about anything when I'm trying to figure out what was wrong with her in the first place. If its over me saying "that's not what I wanted" then I'll let her be upset. Because just last night she told me I should've been more clear on what I really wanted even though I always have been and damn near begging every time. So I made it clear again last night. And today it was forgotten and brushed the hell off. So I was being honest. I was told 2 things of something I've been asking for a pretty long time and it's something I really wanted. So yes, I was disappointed. SORRY! But its also like I wasn't being thankful for what I got neither. I still complimented what was given because it was still great in its own right. Just not what I wanted. So if she wants to be mad about that then fuck it. I have been clear as day. Even with the way I bust my ass for her THINKING I deserve a little extra, I'm obviously wrong. She told me she feels like what she does is never enough but does she ever sit back and realize I feel the exact fucking same with shit! I wake up stupid early to camp for shoes for her. That iPhone was the biggest fucking headache in the world, yet I still haven't had my face time or other PRIVILAGES I was told if be receiving "when I want, all I want" and I remember her getting mad cause I sent it 3 day shipping instead of next day because it really was too much. Sorry if I'm being selfish for once! But there's a difference on giving someone something what they really want and what you feel like doing. Cause I break my back even when I don't want to. Maybe I'm just not meant to et what I really want until 20 days from now when she gets here. I'm gonna chill the fuck out and lay down so by the time she does chose to call I won't be utterly PISSED like I am now and just soak up all the blame as I usually do.